I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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