I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
