hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
