it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize