I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
