how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
do herpes really smell.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
