hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
