Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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