i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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