Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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