Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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