You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
