The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
