you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
