we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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