she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
