so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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