i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
