Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
God, I missed his penis.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
