I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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