Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
