Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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