You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize