Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
