Ambien. No doubt about it.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
