His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
