I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
