It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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