Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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