the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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