drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
