What a fucking waste of an outfit
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he was CRYING into my vagina
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
