I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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