Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
