shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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