waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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