the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
