I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
