so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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