I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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