Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you made out with another girl for some wings
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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