Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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