just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
