Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
