haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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