She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
