make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
