OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
why is half of my head shaved?
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