you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
