Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
