He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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