apparently the secret to your success is patron
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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