i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
soo... how was my night?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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