YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
