it was like his penis was on wheels.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
