So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
