come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
