so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
