What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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