yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
