I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
