He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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