my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
