Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i need some magic done to my vagina
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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