i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize