I wish i was in the wii world.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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