Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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