so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
