you win again, gameday.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
