I am puke
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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