Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize