some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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