It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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