someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
